Letters IV

If i could sit at the seat of my soul
And look eye to eye with my heart
What words, what ideas, what feeling
Would pass i wonder

I could spend my life wondering
I could pass my days in wonder
Wandering from fire to fire
Knowing many homes and none

No words satisfy this heart's hunger
No water quenches its thirst
No names define its language
Where, where are my words
I could not speak them before the seat of my soul
I am forgetting how to speak in the tongue of tears
That river which leads so many hearts to the sea

confessions p. 34

I have been weeping

I am haunted, broken

I am losing

what is not mine for the keeping

I am touching a moment

that will never be again

I am hoarding these photographs

but they are not mine to keep

A broken tooth, a bloodied arm, potential lost

Another's wife, parents ignored through the divorce

Two sullied lungs, a father's shame 

A headline reading one million slain

And so many nights spent weeping over the beauty of it all

There is as much light in this world as darkness

And more perhaps, I think

And none of it 

Neither darkness nor light

Is mine for the keeping

This moment 

This home

This music

This body, in all its grace

These lips, and this speech

This light in our eyes when we speak

None of it is ours to keep